What is a Communist?

Communists are people who think we should all give up our possessions and run around naked all the time. They are always drinking absinthe, smoking tiny cigarettes, and playing bongos and harps.

What do Communists look like?

Communists wear berets and carry around manuscripts for the novels they're writing. You will know you are talking to a Communist if he calls you "Comrade," or says, "I hate America. Let's get naked."

Are Communists dangerous?

I don't know. Maybe you don't like having a TV and a car and sleeping on a bed made out of money. Maybe you'd rather live in Mother Russia, where the only thing the kids have to play with is a block of wood they painted a face on and nicknamed "Blocky."



McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Stranger Danger: A Guide for Kids.


[via mojo, via StumbleUpon]